Do you agree that a false life equivalent to death if so?

I fell like I have been living a false life and it's driving me crazy , I thought If I acted like someone I'm not for long enough i would eventually grow into that person, but its not happening. The reality is I am a very violent, envious, brute man but for my mother I stopped being this person because it would kill her every time I would get in trouble with the law, now I go to school , work my job, and on the side I am a mixed martial artist (cage fighter) which is pretty much the only thing that's kept me from loosing it so far, the other day this guy drove past me and my mother and gave me the middle finger I laughed it off and my mother said she was so proud of me and said I grew so much for just laughing it off and not beating him up, later that night I couldn't sleep from rage I wanted to search all of myspace find that guys face and hunt him down, I know this person I am is not nice and because of my past criminal history and mental issues I am not allowed to join the military , so what can I do? What should I do, there is a part of me that wants to be good and help people but I just .. I dont even know some times I wish every one that cares about me would die so I can really be my true self so I would bring no shame to them.Do you agree that a false life equivalent to death if so?
First, you should want to be a good person because you deserve that life... we all do. How can you ever be happy and at peace if you are constantly pissed off? As you obviously know, you have anger issues that need to be dealt with... NOW. There are special anger management classes... you're not alone. It may also be a chemical imbalance in your brain and you may need to take medication. It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to do something to fix it. Please don't hold it in anymore because one day soon you are going to explode on some poor idiot who did nothing more than flip you the bird. Seriously, do you want to spend the rest of your life in jail over something so utterly meaningless? Anger sucks the life right out of you and it will suck the life right out of every one around you until you end up alone and depressed... don't be that person.





If you need someone to share with, please free to email me. I always have an ear for anyone who sincerely wants to listen.





Peace :-)Do you agree that a false life equivalent to death if so?
Why don't you try to find the following book. In Search of the Miraculous, by Peter Ouspensky.





Don't be put off by the word miraculous. It has absolutely nothing to do with religion.
you do like everyone else, just try to get ahead. i was a boxer for a while and was pretty good at it. i love to fight but i don't like jail so if i don't need to i don't fight i suck it up and keep going. i don't even want to be a good person i just want to get ahead , and see that's the thing you don't haft to be a good person you just haft to take life a day at a time.





no life is false you choose whatever life you want to have. it just takes work.